By W. Terry Whalin
Feature Writer
Author and Counselor H. Norman Wright writes an important book for daughters and fathers
The Health Channel on SilasPartners.com - The feelings of grief were intense for H. Norman Wright.
Dressed in sweats, he snapped a Dennis Agajanian cassette, “Rebel to the Wrong,” into his stereo and began pedaling his exercycle for a session of hard riding. Cranking the cycle wheel in the office of his Long Beach home, Wright wept and prayed as he thought about his daughter, Sheryl.
For years Wright had cultivated a close relationship with his daughter. Now 19-year-old Sheryl had moved away from home and chosen a new and different lifestyle—living with boyfriends and involved in substance abuse.
Sheryl’s rebellion was no secret.
“Joyce and I knew what was happening because Sheryl told us,” Wright recalls. One day scanning through his counseling appointments, he noticed Sheryl’s name as his last appointment. As they met together, she shared what was happening in her life. After a day and a half, Wright revealed the news to his wife.
“My wife and I talked things over and prayed along with several friends,” Wright says. “As a father, I didn’t try and carry the burden alone.”
After four rebellious years, the Wrights noticed subtle changes in Sheryl’s attitude.
Before surgery for a herniated disk, Sheryl requested prayer from her parents. Then one Sunday while attending Hollywood Presbyterian Church with her parents, Sheryl whispered in Wright’s ear, “Daddy, will you walk up there with me?” Sheryl rededicated her life to Christ. Two days later, Sheryl moved back home. The next day, she led her friend Lauren and her brother to the Lord. Today Sheryl has become one of the top nail artists in the nation winning awards and teaching overseas in Japan and Germany. Her Web site is located at: www.spaznailart.com.
According to Wright, as Sheryl works on women’s hands, she will ask, “How long have you been using coke?” With a shocked look, the woman will ask, “How did you know?”
“From your nails…” Sheryl will say in a noncondemning fashion then often tell about her relationship with Christ. “Sheryl sees people that a pastor or professional counselor will never see,” Wright explained. Today their family relationships remain strong.
Author H. Norman Wright has written over 65 self-help books primarily about family and marriage relationships.
The genesis of his latest book, Always Daddy’s Girl (Regal Books) came from his experience with his own daughter. From his years of counseling women, Wright understood the importance of the father/ daughter relationship.
“Many women don’t get the approval which they need from their father, and it drives them to look for such approval from men,” Wright explained. “Other women gravitate toward a husband who is exactly like their father with the feeling they can change that man. Then the woman can affirm that the defect isn’t in them but in their father.”
When Wright and Regal discussed writing this book, they were looking for a fresh approach to the subject. For the research material, Wright realized his files from years of counseling held a gold mine of information. Years ago, he developed a tool called the Family History Analysis. Fourteen of the questions ask about the woman’s relationship with her father. As Wright read these surveys, various themes and patterns emerged. The result was Always Daddy’s Girl.
“I get more mail and response from this book than any of the others which I’ve written,” Wright explained. The book includes a series of 60 questions for the daughter to interview their father. One day, Sheryl called and asked her dad to call her back. “I made the call and to my surprise, Sheryl wanted to talk about the questions in Always Daddy’s Girl,” he said.
She said, “There are some things that I don’t know about you and I’d like to have the answers.” The pair had a delightful and special 40-minute conversation.
Almost five years ago, Wright closed his counseling practice. Today he spends two or three mornings a week bass fishing. Even his fishing led to a book for Bethany House called, Perfect Catch: Lessons From a Bass Fisherman. A great lover of animals and involved with dog racing and training, Wright also wrote A Friend Like No Other: Life Lessons From Dogs We Love (Harvest House). Through an arrangement with Avon, the book sold more than 80,000 copies in 14 months and the sequel has been recently released, The Purrfect Companion: Learning About Life From Our Feline Friends (also Harvest House)
Today Wright volunteers for counseling at his church on an “as needed basis.” Once a year, he teaches a course at Talbot Theological Seminary on either premarital counseling or pastoral counseling on grief and trauma. In addition, Wright takes an active role on the executive board of the American Association of Christian Counselors (www.aacc.net).
His writing habits come in spurts.
“I may have a rough outline but I don’t follow it too closely,” Wright says. “I’ve actually written in a rowboat while fishing. I use either longhand, a portable or electric typewriter. Once the thoughts get going, I don’t want to interrupt them.”
Chapters aren’t written in sequencal order. “I’m the idea person. I get it down on paper and look to others to help me with grammar, spelling and the fine details,” Wright says. During the day, he doesn’t sit long hours at the typewriter. “I’m an extrovert so I take interruptions and even create them,” he says. Throughout the day, ideas and illustrations will spring to mind. Grabbing a pencil and pad, he writes them down and includes them later in the book.
He reads extensively--primarily fiction.
“Every Thursday I go to the library and look at the new books,” Wright says. “I always visit a Christian bookstore at least once a week.” While he doesn’t have a computer at home, he uses the computer at the library for his research and has a Web site at: www.hnormanwright.com.
Men searching for an appropriate Mother’s Day gift or women needing a Father’s Day present may want to consider Always Daddy’s Girl. The survey for daughters to ask fathers has been particularly eye opening for many plus the last chapter of the book, which contains ten tips for fathering. Husbands without daughters can gain insight into their wives' relationship with their fathers. Reading and applying Wright’s books, the memories will linger longer than any yearly holiday.
W. Terry Whalin is a Feature Writer for Christianity.com. He has written for more than 50 publications and published more than 50 books including Chuck Colson and Lessons From the Pit. His Web site is located at: www.terrywhalin.com.
